Whatcha Readin'?

Random Peeve.


I'll set the scene.


My hands propping open a worn cover. Elbows resting on my stomach. Sitting with my legs tucked closely underneath the seat. Eyes focusing on the typed words. Shutting out noise around me.

For some untold reason, I look like I'm begging to be asked:

"Whatcha readin'?" (As if I decided to pick up the book to start a conversation. Of course, that's never where the questions end.)

"What's it about?"  (I attempt to compare to some bestselling book I've assumed the questioner has heard of. She hasn't, of course.)

"Is it good?" (Since Apple has yet to invent a device allowing reading through osmosis, how could I know what is going on in the book while I'm making small talk?... and I decide to refrain from being a smartass and say "yep. so far," instead.)

What Did I Do Wrong?

About the Book- "It happens without warning, and it is devastating: Your closest girlfriend, the Ethel to your Lucy, the Thelma to your Louise, cuts you off completely. No more late-night phone calls or e-mails, no more catch-up lunches and dinners. She has decided for whatever reason to move on with her life, and left you to try to make sense of what happened. The experience can be as painful as the death of a loved one, and as confusing as an unexpected breakup with a significant other. You replay scenes from the friendship and wonder what you did wrong. Now in What Did I Do Wrong?: What to Do When You Don't Know Why the Relationship is Over, Liz Pryor sheds light on the situation."

Thoughts- It was refreshing to read a book that focuses attention on female friendships. It is ingrained in our minds through movies and books that woman are supposed to have lifelong best friends. "Best Friends Forever" from childhood bracelets, secrets shared across sleeping bags, and trips to the pool and mall, to first boyfriends, college, and future families. There is such an extensive amount of time and emotion invested in friendships such as these, but like romantic relationships, they too can undergo strains, challenges, and ends. The conclusion of a friendship can be just as heartbreaking, or even more, than the end of a romance based on the lack of closure. Not all friendships are lifelong, nor are they perfect. The problem was, there was no discussion about how to properly cut ties with a friend. It feels awkward, stressful, annoying, depressing, angry, and like a failure, all depending on which side
you're on. When people say, "My boyfriend and I broke up," there is an understanding of how to feel for that person. Why shouldn't the loss of a friendship invoke the same response? Liz Pryor finally answered the call, got the ball rolling. By saying that this swirling of feelings and confusion is valid, she captures the female spirit through a compilation of stories- uncomfortable, beautiful, and heart-wrenching (Gram's story!).

I appreciate Liz's familiar writing style. While never claiming to be an expert, it makes her observations and suggestions feel real and from the heart. Her personal stories woven throughout gave the book a nice reference point and backbone.

Through her journey in story-collecting, it is clear that communication during the breakup is problematic. Where's the how-to guide when you need it? By using avoidance, a woman may think she won't be hurting her friend's feelings (as opposed to coming right out and stating the troubles). On the other hand, the 2nd friend often knows she is being avoided and is hurt that the first friend won't just talk to her. A reoccurring suggestion throughout the book was to write a letter. This was the only point that I have uncertainty about. While a letter may be perfect for some breakups, it isn't for everyone or every situation. I know that Liz never came out and said that this was the be-all and end-all fix, but I would have liked to see if anything else may have surfaced as being effective. On more than one occasion, I've poured my soul into a letter to a friend to attempt to reach closure, only to receive no response.

Personally, I still wonder, "What did I do wrong?" regarding my own friendship breakup in the fall/winter of 2009. I know a breakup would have happened eventually with her, but I continue to wonder about her- how she is now, how everything happened so quickly, how things could have happened differently. It's reassuring to know that other women have shared in these feelings of regret or vulnerability and that it's just as complicated for them as well.

Thank you Liz for warmly and honestly shining a light on the crack in the BFF mystique!

(I received a copy of this book from Simon & Schuster Free Press in exchange for an honest review. Information about the book provided by the publisher.)

Montana 1948

To break up the Old English in Oliver Twist, I looked to my brother's meager book collection for something short to alternate with. Just glancing at the cover of Montana 1948 (by Larry Watson) brought to mind images of high school sophomores lugging around tattered copies. It was never assigned to me, but I had assumed it was a boring cowboy story that students used to begrudgingly search for symbolism.

I was very pleased to discover that this was not a dry cowboy tale as previously anticipated. An adult David Hayden narrates his tumultuous summer at age twelve. The relationships that reshaped or shattered during this time forever changed his view of the world, specifically those of his parents and extended family.
Marie Little Soldier, David's young, Indian housekeeper suddenly dies after suffering from pneumonia. Through investigation, David's father Wes, sheriff of the town, comes to find that his brother Frank has been sexually assaulting all of his female Native American patients.

"First, he was charming, and my mother was suspicious of charm. She believed its purpose was to conceal some personal deficit or lack of substance. If your character was sound, you didn't need charm," (32).

It was a unique story and kept me reading, however I found the ending a bit abrupt and unfinished.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


It started off a bit confusing, and I even wondered why everyone raves about it. Next thing I knew, I was completely hooked! What an intelligent and gripping mystery. The characters were so complex and I loved how everything fit together.



View all my reviews

You, Inc.

Trudging through unemployment and job searching is getting extremely discouraging, so I look to books as a pick-me-up. You, Inc: The Art of Selling Yourself, by Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford Beckwith, was a perfect dose of inspiration. It details helpful recommendations for representing yourself, whether in the workplace or in day-to-day interactions, in nice, short chapters. Below are a few of my favorites:

• Choose the dots, not the lines- Explore your passions and interests, even if you can't immediately see how they will fit into the big picture. These are the dots. You never know, they may connect to your career path in unexpected ways.

• Your Greatest Debt- "There is no such thing as too grateful or too appreciative. How many thank you notes did you send last year? This year, send twice that many."
• Make Yourself Uncomfortable "Seek comfort and you will shrink into the background and never accomplish what you hope to. To truly thrive, learn what makes you uncomfortable."
• What People Value-"The way you make them feel"
• Thinking Outside Your Box- Instead of thinking "outside the box," bring new ideas and experiences into your life to expand your realm of expertise. "Grow a bigger box."
• The Real First Rule of Communicating- "Make yourself clearer, and people will think you are an expert."
• The Ears Have it- "Listen. Actively and often; always. Before you speak, take one second." The author noted how her mother would say we all have two ears and one mouth, which means we should listen twice as much as we speak.

Running With Scissors

Despite criticisms of Running with Scissors (by Augusten Burroughs), I enjoyed it immensely. Burroughs's "series of unfortunate events" life shared through this novel/memoir was so unexpected that I flew through the pages. His anecdotes growing up with a literally psychotic mother, alcoholic and distant father, and living in his mother's psychiatrist's home were almost hard to believe. Faking a suicide attempt to avoid school, having nightmares about his inability to make perfect pin curls (he dreamed of having his own beauty empire), and having sex at age 14 with his 30+ year old boyfriend were commonplace occurrences.

Through all of the horrors, there was still an underlying bite of humor that makes it evident that the author has risen above his tragedies. I appreciated the raw, no-nonsense writing. It is unapologetic and does not using being gay as a crutch or excuse. Not all memoirs need to elicit a response of self-discovery or catharsis within the reader (some reviews complain that the story did not make them feel better after reading). This is an example of wit and survival in the midst of a volatile environment.This being said, it certainly is not for everyone. Some of the sexual passages may be squirm-inducing.

The Classics (2011 Challenge #2)

Why not add another challenge to the mix? The Classics 2011 Challenge hosted by Sugar Creek Cottage is perfect. Since my reading goals for the past few months have included readings books found on classics lists (some more difficult to get through than others), reading eight or more will be no problem.

When it comes to these books, I truck through even if it is a bit of a struggle.

Why?

It is important to experience books renowned for their literary contributions to not only appreciate the way the author crafted messages and language, but to understand why the work resonated with readers through different historical periods.

Brevity and simplicity are the most common qualities in current media messages.  While I enjoy new, light reads that follow suit, I don't feel as accomplished once I'm finished. Since reading classic books is no longer paired with weeks of drawn out discussions and analytical essays, I enjoy choosing them on my own time. They serve as mini-achievements that I can feel good about.

Thanks for hosting, Kimberly!

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1. Their Eyes Were Watching God- Zora Neale Hurston
2. Oliver Twist- Charles Dickens
3. To the Lighthouse- Virginia Woolf
4. Anna Karenina- Leo Tolstoy
5. The Joy Luck Club- Amy Tan
6. On the Road- Jack Kerouac
7. Franny and Zooey- J.D. Salinger
8. The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde
9. Rebecca- Daphne Du Maurier
10. The Color Purple- Alice Walker